Every four years the USA is reminded that “football” is short for “association football” everywhere else in the world and that it can be, in fact, be played by grown men. Here’s what we learned from the latest installment of the World Cup:

• The worst sound ever. I thought the wave was the lowest form of fan participation. Then I met the vuvuzela.
• Leonardo DiCaprio is a Mountaineer fan. He’s not from West Virginia. He didn’t go to West Virginia. But there he was, on television, wearing the golden WV hat.
• Pac-10 refs never looked better. We recently had a situation in this country where an umpire blatantly missed a call that cost a pitcher a historic accomplishment. By the end of the day, he acknowledged the mistake and apologized. Everyone involved was heralded for their maturity and sportsmanship. At the World Cup, the US had a free kick immediately blown dead that would have resulted in a goal. What was the official’s call? Nobody knows. He refused to speak to any players on the pitch that day. Nice work FIFA.
• Spain wins the title. Racists rejoice. Apparently Spain is an incredibly talented team and they had never been to a WC final before. So good for them. It makes me a bit sick though that fans that made monkey chants at black British players at a match in 2004 are happy about anything. This wasn’t a few bad apples. This was the majority of the stadium. Apparently 2000s Spain = 1940s US.

So annoying horns, celebrities, poor officiating, and racist fans. It all adds up to the most popular sport in the world.