I’m at the drink station at local burger chain (Hint: It was In ‘n Out). I kind of bent the cup on the lemonade trigger, so the lid doesn’t go on smoothly, and I end up spilling the whole drink. There’s no mess since it’s right over the drain, but under my breath I sigh “Ah damn.”

Guy next to me must have heard that. He turns to me and says cheerfully, “Don’t worry! There’s more right here!” Indeed, my friend.

I’m driving on I-280 southbound out of SF in the far left lane. I’m approaching the exit for I-380, better known as the way to the airport. I’m gaining on a bus to my right. As I pass by the exit and the bus, I read the words “Airport Express” on the side of the vehicle. It still may be going to the airport, but that trip is no longer express.

Why is a grown man carrying around a hula hoop?*

*The way that he’s holding and whirling it makes me believe it’s his and not for a child.

The Number One Way to Look Like a Parisian:

• Open the Metro door and step off before the train is stopped.

The Top Two Ways to Not Look Like a Parisian:

• Open the Metro door before the train is stopped and jump off holding hands with someone and then laugh like idiots when you almost fall down.
• Wear a beret.