It only took 64 years, but Uncle Ben has been given a promotion. At an elder age, he joined the organization as a servant and seemed to be stuck in this role permanently. But now he’s taking his trademark bow tie to the chairman’s office, which you can visit at UncleBens.com. I wonder if Aunt Jemima is jealous..
Also read an article about the Tom Caricature from Ferris State.
![[Fries 50 license plate]](http://www.realmofthewombat.com/images/misc/fries50.jpg)
Who spends the money on this vanity plate? McDonalds franchise owner or Hans Fries the 50th?
I received the following email from CharBroiled last week:
my celeb fantasy league has ended, and i destroyed them!!! woohooo!!
Led by Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, CB’s team of celebrities received the most attention from the pop culture websites in the last few weeks. I think visiting those websites is a complete waste of time. On the other hand though, quantifying, ranking, and betting on the level of attention these people receive, which is directly related to how big a trainwreck their lives are, seems like a worthwhile experience to me.
So, Char, keep up the good work!
Yesterday, as the sun was rising over Chicago, I drove up the ramp onto Lake Shore Drive from Lawrence Ave. At this early hour, I was tolerating NPR’s membership pledge drive, considering any unresolved issues from our recent lab move, and cursing the CTA bus that just cut me off, when I saw something so amazing, so wonderful, that all of my worries and complaints melted away.
I had dreamed of this day for years, and driving in Chicago for several months only intensified my longing. But I was resigned to the improbability of it. In 11 years of driving, I had never witnessed the event, and nobody I had ever spoken to had either. But yesterday, the devil’s gaze must have been distracted somehow. I won’t blame you if you don’t believe what I’m about to tell you, but I was there to see the result.
A City of Chicago police officer had pulled over a taxi cab. And he had his ticket book out. And he was screaming at the cab driver.
Oh the glory of it all! If I ever see such a beautiful scene, I will surely go blind.
![[Nestle Crunch wrapper]](http://www.realmofthewombat.com/images/misc/nestle.jpg)
I recently consumed a Nestle Crunch bar and found the message above inside the wrapper. As you may or may not know, I like winning things, so this made me happy. But see all that fine print there? What that says is that to get a coupon for a free Crunch bar, I have to send in the wrapper for “verification.” Apparently, some group of counterfeiters has decided to focus on candy bar contests instead of dollar bills or something. So in order to get a free Crunch bar, value approximately 60 cents, I have to spend 39 cents on a stamp and wait 6 to 8 weeks for processing. Is it safe to say that the terrorists have won?
I later noticed that the contest was over before I opened the wrapper in the first place.
MelDandy ponders,
Do you think that in heaven, shows like Arrested Development and Freaks and Geeks aren’t cancelled?
And that, my friends, is why she’s a dandy.
Since my initial rant about things I miss about the Bay Area, my local Trader Joe’s has started stocking the calzones that were the staple of my weekend lab lunches at Berkeley. Oh happy day!
Readers, the following questions have been puzzling me lately, and I need your opinions:
1) Why does our mail regularly arrive at 7:00 pm and sporadically at 10:00 pm?
2) Why does my cat like to chew on plastic bags?
3) Will we ever drink milk from a fountain?
#1: Drivers who don’t signal. Ever.
#2: NMR spectrometers on a different floor
#3: Undergrads on the elevators
#4: Three hour time difference to the east coast
#5: Use of the definite article before highway numbers (e.g. “the 80” in reference to I-80)
#6: “Pitch to Barry” signs and rubber chickens
#7: Fear that the earth will swallow me
#8: Stanfurd
#9: Waiting 30+ minutes for AC Transit #43 on Friday nights
#10: Neighbors that fight each other
#11: Travel time to the east coast
![[CCHA Championship banner]](http://www.realmofthewombat.com/images/misc/hockeybanner.jpg)
Not only is ND hockey ranked #1 in the polls, they have just finished a 27-6-3 regular season, good enough for their first conference title.
Despite their recent success, do not believe all that you read about the hockey facilities at ND, specifically what’s said at und.com:
The field house, and in particular the hockey facility, has undergone a series of improvements that make the Joyce Center one of the finest facilities in collegiate hockey. Renovations to coaches offices and the locker rooms along with the addition of a dividing curtain have given the hockey rink and the Irish more of a “home-ice advantage.” Fans also have benefited from Notre Dame’s commitment to hockey, with theatre-style seating that replaced metal bleachers on the north side of the arena.
While there’s no curtain in the world that’s going to cover up everything that’s wrong with the nation’s worst D-I college hockey facility, a few more of those championship banners might do the trick.