Gems like this, from their latest edition of BTB Awards:
If you hear somebody ask what is wrong with Johan Santana this season, what with a “barely over .500” record, you have my permission to punch that person in the neck.
Also you have to love a column with a regular feature called “This Week’s Dumbest Thing Ever.”
Mel and I were discussing the Mets series against Brewers and Cubs, the powerhouses of the NL Central. She concluded,
“That’s not even a competition,”
proving yet again why she’s a dandy.
5) The one wearing the Piniella jersey. I’ve never seen anyone with a custom manager’s jersey before.
4) The one wearing the Kyle Farnsworth jersey. Look, Ambiorix Burgos can throw 100 mph too. That doesn’t mean I’d get a custom Mets jersey of his.
3) The one wearing the Yankees Soriano shirt and Cubs hat. The only explanation is that this guy has been following Soriano around since he left New York.
2) The one wearing the Cubs jersey and Red Sox hat. This guy has no soul but doesn’t realize it, thus thinks he’s better than #3.
1) The one wearing the Cubs jersey and White Sox 2005 World Series hat. No comment.
Bonus: The most vocal heckler in our section who decided not to stay for extra innings.
Super Bonus!: The one who took a picture of first base coach Ivan DeJesus. Do you think she (A) thought he was a player (B) collects pictures of first base coaches or (C) wanted a picture of the man the Cubs traded away to get Ryne Sandberg?
I got of CTA at 6:45 pm to meet Odie before Pirates/Cubs game at Wrigley.
Five hours, four errors, 27 runners left on base, 41 players used, one stolen base by a catcher, one catcher caught stealing, two starting pitchers used as pinch hitters, three plays at the plate, two double plays with the bases loaded, an ejection, a blown save, two singings of “Take Me Out To the Ball Game,” two hot dogs, a few hecklers, 15 innings, and four scoresheets later, this was the scene:
![[Left field scoreboard]](http://www.realmofthewombat.com/images/misc/scoreboard-1.jpg)
![[Center field scoreboard: Click for enlargement]](http://www.realmofthewombat.com/images/misc/scoreboard-2.jpg)
Mercifully, after all that, Aramis Ramirez (former Pirate) struck out to end the game.
Give the game ball to Jonah Bayliss, who pitched the 12th, 13th, and 14th innings for the Bucs, only allowing one baserunner and notching four strikeouts. This was a welcome bit of sanity in an otherwise ridiculous exposition of NL Central baseball.
Coming soon: Top Five Cubs fans of the night!
You know about Brad Lidge and Aaron Heilman in the majors right now. Jeff Samardzija earned the headlines with his decision to play baseball instead of football. But keep an eye on Jeff Manship (Class of 2006), currently at Beloit (low-A) in the Minnesota organization. Twins pro-blogger Aaron Gleeman says:
Perhaps even more so than Slowey’s fantastic start at Triple-A, No. 12 prospect Jeff Manship’s first month at low Single-A sticks out as the organization’s best April performance. Manship posted a 0.84 ERA, 36-to-3 strikeout-to-walk ratio, and .147 opponent’s batting average in 32 innings spread over five starts. Equally as impressive, he had a 4.6-to-1 ground ball-to-fly ball ratio, which sticks out like a sore thumb in the Twins’ fly-ball heavy system and is a tremendous indicator for future success. [link]
Manship’s ND bio from 2006 and pro stats from MiLB.com
… this is what I would get:
![[NEXT BLOWN ARM, #38]](http://www.realmofthewombat.com/images/bumarm.jpg)
I can’t even joke about buying a Sox jersey.
Those were the results of Sunday’s contest between the Reds and Cubs at Wrigley.
NL Central Division baseball. Catch the fever!
At least we saw this guy sing Take Me Out to the Ball Game.
Jimmy, you say the Phillies are the team to beat.
The Braves beat the Phillies. The Marlins beat the Phillies. The Mets beat the Phillies. And best of all, you beat the Phillies.
Apparently everyone believes you, Jimmy.
Last night, we went to see the A’s host the Chisox at the Coliseum. Loaiza started for the A’s and continued his second half resurgence, allowing 2 runs only four baserunners in 7 innings. The offense had plenty of opportunities and did enough damage to give Oakland the 4-2 victory. The win lowered the A’s magic number to 11, with 16 games to play. The two points I’d like to make are two examples of incompetence due to lack of focus of what was happening on the field.
I’ve never been so proud of Odie as when he related this story of his trip to Wrigley to watch his beloved Pittsburgh ‘Irates take on the Cubbies.
Scene: Odie, wearing his #18 Jason Kendall Pirates jersey, and Jack are in the bleachers
Odie: Jack, even though the Pirates are losing, I’m sure glad to be at the game.
Heckler #1: Hey Kendall, why not wear a good #18 from Pirates history?
Odie: Wow, that’s a good heckle. Andy van Slyke was number 18 before Kendall, and he was much better. I’m going to let that go.
Heckler #2: Hey Kendall, where’s Barbie?
Heckler #3: Yeah, where’s Barbie?
Odie: Well, that’s not really a good heckle, but they’re Cubs fans, so they don’t really have much to cheer about.
Heckler #2: Come on Kendall, where’s Barbie?
Heckler #3: Did you guys break up?
Odie: Well, this is getting annoying, but maybe some good will come of this.
A few minutes pass, then Heckler #2 approaches Odie with a hot dog.
Heckler #2: Hey, since you don’t have Barbie anymore, we bought you this hot dog.
Odie: Um, ok, I’ll eat it.
Heckler #2: Yeah you will!
Heckler #2 returns to his seat.
Odie: You know Jack, I don’t like the cut of their jib. [yelling] Hey Hecklers, who has the highest batting average on the Cubs? Real fans, please don’t answer!
Hecklers: [silence]
A minute passes.
Heckler #3: Hey, give that hot dog back!
Two more minutes pass, then they finally answer the question.
Heckler #2: Barrett!
Odie: Well, it’s actually Jacque Jones, but at least you could name a Cub!
Heckler #3: I know how we can show him. Let’s get the wave going!
And that’s how Cubs fans lost their last shred of dignity.
