Here’s a home run ball I really don’t want to catch

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It’s estimated that Bonds’ #714 ball could go for upwards of a million dollars. He is stuck on 713, playing at Oakland this weekend, and I will be at the game on Sunday, sitting in the plaza outfield down the right field line.

I don’t know Barry’s resting schedule, but I’m sure he’ll jump at the chance to get in the lineup as DH and save himself the embarrassment of playing the field. He could hit it to section 201. I could catch it.

But I don’t want to.

First of all, the Coliseum faithful expect all home run balls from the opposition to be thrown back on the field. This is a tradition that should have remained at Wrigley, and it’s a catch-22. Throw it back and you’re removed from the stadium. Keep it and you suffer the ire of the Oakland faithful. I couldn’t show my face in the left field bleachers after keeping any non-A’s HR ball, let alone one off the bat of evil incarnate.

Secondly, there is sure to be quite a fracas at the site where this thing lands. I have no intention of suffering serious physical deformities because Bonds has tied the person in second place. I predict that if Barry doesn’t hit #714 until he returns to SF, and it lands in McCovey Cove, where people with nets in kayaks will be waiting, someone will die. A paddle to the head, a kayak overturned, and a Giants fan drowns. You heard it here first.

The fight will likely go on even after the game ends. There was a lengthy legal battle over the ball Barry hit for #73 in 2001. HR #714 is destined to rewrite not only the record books, but US judiciary history.

Finally, I wouldn’t be able to keep the money. Yes, it would represent a windfall equaling 10-fold increase on my salary over the last five years. But it’s blood money. How could I profit from someone who has cheated his way into history? Obviously I couldn’t live with myself.

So there you have it. While it would be a thrill to catch a home run ball, I’m staying away from that one.

Maybe if #715 gets to two million, I’ll jump in the fray.

The New Pornographers – Twin Cinema

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[The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema] In the genre of power pop, there’s basically Carl Newman (NP, solo album under A.C. Newman, Zumpano), then Fountains of Wayne, and then a large drop off. Jimmy Eat World stands out from the crowd a bit. NP get bonus points for the inclusion of Neko Case, who provides the fan-favorite female voice on a number of tracks. She has five solo albums to her credit which is more alt-country.

Apparently I don’t understand how music gets into the mainstream, because I feel like the New Pornographers would really take off. People love stuff this catchy. I did hear “Use It” off Twin Cinema back a very long ad on TNT a couple nights back, so maybe it’s around the corner.

Devil Rays at Athletics (McClung vs. Zito)

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On Friday night the A’s stranded 15 runners and only managed to scratch out one run against the improved, but still lowly, Tampa Bay Devil Rays. The offense was similarly inept on Saturday, with a sac-fly by Bobby Crosby and RBI single by Mark Kotsay accounting for the Athletics’ two runs through eight innings. Although Barry Zito ran deep counts regularly, he allowed only 6 baserunners (5 H, 1 BB) in 7 innings, three of whom were erased on double plays. His only major mistake was a HR to Russ Branyan. Justin Duchscherer pitched the eighth and made one mistake of his own, serving up a HR ball to pinch-hitter Greg Norton. Joe Kennedy recovered from near meltdown, and worked out of a bases-loaded jam in the ninth. He earned the win as Oakland got some help from Aubrey Huff to eek out a 3-2 victory.

[Update: The A’s left another 12 runners on base today and lost to Tampa again, 3-2.]

What I would like to focus on are three weird plays involving Jay Payton: Three weird plays involving Jay Payton:

  • In the bottom of the fourth, Payton was at the plate with Adam Melhuse on second and Bobby Crosby on third and no outs, Payton lifted a fly ball to relatively shallow center field. Crosby got ready to tag up at third, and CF Joey Gathright set himself up for a throw to the plate. But after the outfielder made the catch, Crosby started and stopped toward the plate. Gathright held the ball an few seconds, and then Crosby dashed for the plate. Only then did he get the ball back to the infield, but not in time to prevent the A’s from taking a 1-0 lead. The moral of the story: get the ball back to the infield!
  • In the bottom of the second, the A’s had Jay Payton on first with Dan Johnson at the plate. The count went to 2-1, but apparently the scoreboard read 3-1. So when the next pitch was a ball, Johnson tossed his bat toward the dugout, and Payton trotted to second. After a moment, the mistake was realized, and Johnson was called back to the plate, but Payton was safely on second, credited with a stolen base. It turned out that Johnson walked on the next pitch anyway, but it was a strange scene.
  • With no outs in the bottom of the ninth, the A’s had Johnson on first, Payton on second, and Marco Scutaro at the plate. Scutaro hit a soft little liner toward short. It was definitely catchable, so the runners had to hold, but Rays SS Julio Lugo let the ball fall. Now the runners are in trouble, because they’re forced to advance. Lugo tosses to second, forcing Johnson out. 2b Ty Wigginton then threw to third ahead of Payton, who headed back toward second. Meanwhile, Scutaro is motoring around first base, trying to at least keep a runner in scoring position. 3b Aubrey Huff tried to cut off the retreating Payton by throwing to Lugo, who was between second and third, but he got by unscathed, and Lugo tossed back to Wigginton covering second as both Payton and Scutaro arrived. Payton dove in safely, but since a base can only be occupied by one runner at a time, Wigginton just turned around and tagged Scutaro. So the result of the play, scored a 6-4-5-6-4 double play, was that the A’s had a runner (Payton) on second with two outs and Jason Kendall coming to the plate. The A’s won the game as a grounder off the bat of Kendall went through Huff’s legs, scoring Payton, and sending the fans home happy.

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