107.7 The Bone is the classic rock station in San Francisco. It has certain positive attributes, e.g they only play a particular song once per day and generally have a good playlist. However, they ruin it by playing stuff like Hoobastank. The Bone’s morning show is Lamont and Tonelli. In addition to incessant promos throughout the day on the radio, the station places these ads on public transit to advertise. Look, there’s a reason these guys are on radio and not TV.

Back when I had a phone in my room at home, I used to get strange messages on my answering machine. People started asking for Mr. Zupp, or Shawn Zupp. Then I got quite a few messages inquiring about the availability of Shawn the Magician. One woman even gave a whole list of dates and how much money she was willing to spend. I considered taking her up on the offer. Anyway, it was always an exciting event when that little red light was flashing.

I hadn’t thought about Shawn the Magician for a while, but I had three messages on my voice mail for Paco to call them.

I just thought you should know.

Melissa loves cooking shows, which means she loves Food Network. These shows can be interesting, and you learn a fair amount, but one thing drives me crazy. I hate when they’re preparing a dish, then say you have to wait for 45 minutes, but magically pull a plate out of the fridge or oven, and it’s ready for the next step. There is one shining example of a cooking program devoid of this insidious behavior: 30 Minute Meals. It’s taped in real time, so you get the full start to finish on the meal. I have noticed that the host, Rachael Ray, is pretty much running all over the set, and obviously she’s pretty experienced, so it might be more like a 60 minute meal for a normal person. But this is still my favorite because there’s none of that “Here’s a plate of veal saffron that I prepared earlier. Doesn’t it look delicious?!” stuff.

I think as a scientist, I have taken evolution for granted. Yes, we share ~99% of our genetic code with monkeys. Yes, we have remains of Homo erectus and neanderthals and whatnot. But I’m starting to think that maybe we’re not really evolving.

What’s made me think this way?

Has anyone seen that there’s a new version of The Apprentice coming out on NBC this fall? They made a sequel to The Transporter? The A’s used Juan Cruz in a tie game in the tenth inning at Boston? These are not signs of evolution. But are they signs of intelligent design?

Certainly not . . . unless you consider the designer not to be a benevolent one, but one hell bent on having a good laugh about it. I think what happened was God created a perfect race of beings. One that treated each other with respect, treated their planet as an irreplaceable gift, understood what was really entertaining, and how to handle a bullpen. That race is not ours. They’re having a grand ol’ time somewhere else in the universe, and God is awfully proud of itself. We’re the jesters. Throwing explosive things at each other, procrastinating in the face of natural disasters, continually putting out derivative junk into the media, and torturing baseball fans all over with questionable managerial moves. Not an intelligent design, but maybe a hillarious one. For an omnipotent deity at least.